Michał Karzyński

At five in the morning...

I have not yet progressed very far in my meditations.
The only concepts I have fully realized are two. One, how precious this life is and how important it is to create good karma by trying to live the dharma; and two, the unreality of existence.

The latter concept has always been fascinating for me philosophically. I have long ago decided that ‘the world does not exist’ and I lived accordingly, selectively contemplating only the desirable experiences, while not dwelling upon the unpleasant.

Physical world is unreal, subjective. You experience it only through your senses, which vary with your mood, attitude, prior experiences. What you see is different then what others see, so how can we talk about any reality beyond the subjective, or inter-subjective at best?

But if I punch the wall, the wall seems very real, causing pain in my hand. This is because my hand is also a part of this world and as such is equally unreal as the wall. My body is a part of this unreal system, and a system it is. Despite it’s subjectivity, the physical world is consistent. Due to this fact rational science can exist.

At some point I embraced solipsism but was fighting it’s main argument: “I think therefore I am”. For if all is unreal, why should my self be exempt from this law?

A consciousness (or Ego) is the sum of one’s experiences, feelings, memories. All of them are equally subjective, equally unreal. My ego is a sum of unreal thoughts. How do I know this? Because when I don’t think, my ego ceases to exist!
However I am still here. Or am I not here? Here is equally unreal, therefore I am everywhere…

You noticed I use the words subjective and unreal interchangeably. The reason for this is my long struggle with the concept of ‘Truth’. The truth is that which is objective, real and therefore absolute. There is no such thing in the world!

In this world we may only have inter-subjective or subjective half-truths. Three kinds of these half-truths exist: scientific claims may be valid, subjective experiences may be beautiful, inter-subjective morals may be good. No statement can be absolute, none can be true.

The absolute is only beyond the world, it is inside each being.